Clearly I don't post enough—an informal discussion on procrastination

I'm (hopefully) going to lower the bar on posting from now on

If you’re subscribed, you might remember when I said I was going to write 1 blog post a week for all of 2023.

I wrote 3 blogs total in 2023 and 0 in 2024.

That seems really bad.

I’ve written 50-90% of several posts but haven’t published them. I think I should write whatever thoughts I’m having, in any form (positive, negative, useful, etc.) and just post them. That will be one of my main goals of 2025 (95% confident I will publish at least 10 times). I can always just republish stuff in a more polished form down the line.

One of my main concerns with publishing stuff unfinished is that I fear my argument won’t be convincing enough, so if I publish it early, people will dismiss my arguments and then never change their mind on the subject ever again.

To rephrase this, first impressions matter, and if people come upon an unconvincing argument the first time, then they won’t adjust to a more convincing one in the future. However,

1. Basically nobody is reading these (but shoutout to those who are!)

2. If I am having trouble finishing the last 10-50% of some essay, it’s probably because I need feedback. What better way to get feedback than to publish?

Alternatively, I’ve thought about posting from a pseudonymous account that I let a select few people know about, and save this account for more rigorous things. I am going to think about this a bit longer. It does seem good to “build in public” and that would mean an account that is traceable back to me. However, maybe it’s bad to put out lots of fodder publicly under my name. Or it’ll make people less likely to read a post here that I think is actually important. Or I’ll end up not posting still in a perfectionist rut.

Oh, or I might post unpolished things in a garden that’s still attachable to my name but feels removed. Hopefully, I can fork this Quartz repo and connect it to Logseq this winter break (I say hopefully but I have 30% confidence that this happens before end of January).

To quote from two of my favorite people:

(anon)

Note to self: I am 2 bajillion times worse at my job when low-confidence. I had (what is probably) actually solid feedback on a paper I could have sent 2 months ago, while it was still being written instead of now, I just never hit share/send. So silly

And Shantideva in A Guide to the Bodhisattva Way of Life:

1.2 There is nothing here that has not been said before, nor do I have any skill in composition. Thus, I have no concern for the welfare of others, and I have composed this solely to season my own mind.

1.3 Owing to this, the power of my faith increases to cultivate virtue. Moreover, if someone else with a disposition like my own examines this, it may be meaningful.

I was just journaling earlier on procrastination and thought it might be nice to publish. Sort of inspired by reading a lot from my friend Chris Lakin recently. That’s what the rest of this will be about. Cheers.

why do I procrastinate?

context

I stopped virtually all my procrastination in Fall 2023. it was really great. I felt very aligned with my values, didn’t let work be a choice (“I will do x right now” vs “I should do x right now”), I just did things. I started everything early. I started assignments early, attended office hours regularly. I felt really really great.

• I tried to explain this to someone that October and couldn’t quite put it into words why I was having so much success. if I had to best explain, my past self picked an excellent vector to put energy into, my present self bought into that vector and didn’t question it, smooth sailing

towards the end of the semester when things got a bit shaky, I met with my advisor and cleared things up. things felt good. finished semester strong.

Spring 2024, I very quickly lost this skill. I attribute this to a couple things:

• poor weather makes it harder to get out of bed in the morning

• I skipped class 1-2 times, which started the endless snowball of “well I can’t go back now”

• I didn’t have a regular modafinil prescription

• one of my roommates and best friends (Arunim) took a leave for an internship and off campus house felt less good

• I had very consistent friends to do homework with from the same classes in the Fall. it was much more difficult to get friends to consistently work with me in the Spring.

  • something something, if I work with others and have consistent meeting times (i.e. every tuesday from 6-9pm) I very rarely fall off. unless we don’t accomplish everything needed and the solution is, “well there’s not that much work left, everyone can just finish everything on their own”. then I crash and burn

  • except… maybe I crashed and burned less in Fall 2023? probably because I started stuff early so I could always seek help at office hours

but I’ve thought about this more (and have thought about it in the past as well, but this time feels different) and I’ve realized there’s a surprising amount of emotional conflict underneath everything that I haven’t allowed myself to feel. or less emotional things that I haven’t very clearly enunciated. my rational above is, “oh I started procrastinating because I fell off the wagon”, but I’m trying to figure out, “why is there a wagon to fall off of in the first place?”. I’ve only figured out preventative care.

biggest reason i’ve converged upon about why

not doing something is better than trying and failing. i can fall back on something and say “well I didn’t even try” or “I did it at the last minute anyways so of course I was going to not do very well, this is not a representation of my actual skill, ability, and intellect”

• except actually, when I try, I pretty much always do well? I can think of very few things I have given good effort to and done poorly at in my life

  • bassoon? not that much effort though

  • water skiing

  • surely there are more but I can only think of these funny examples at the moment. not trying to humble brag—I imagine this is true for most people!! we usually just give poor effort and give up.

    • few things are so difficult that elbow grease can’t get you anywhere. unless you want to win a nobel prize or something. e.g. 90% (80%? maybe I’m severely overestimating but it doesn’t matter) of people could get an A+ in calculus with the right tools and time.

• locally optimal psychology? currently my mind thinks “not trying so I don’t fail” is the best option for my health and wellbeing. no, the best option by a considerable margin is trying and failing. logically think this out. think of myself one year from now, one which hasn’t tried at all and one that has tried and failed over and over again. would much rather have the second future. I’m probably a much more learned and capable person. probably much more confident, brave, better in nearly every way

  • I also kick myself for things in the past where I gave no effort. actually, I’m much better at self-love and living without regrets than I used to be, but I still do kick myself on occasion

other reasons

one

kind of the same as the first reason, but I lack confidence in myself. I think I will fail. different than first reason because the first is more centered around “I can’t bear to face the thought of failing so I will not try”, this one is, “I don’t think I will be successful at my attempt so I will not try”. it’s like, an efficiency thing. I shouldn’t waste time doing things that I know I will fail at.

• solution: similar to above. rationally think about how many things I have failed at given a concerted effort. if I can’t accomplish big step “ONE”, scale it back “one” then “1” then “0”, until I can make progress. maybe the problem I’ve been given is too difficult. ex. I have this engineering project I’ve been wanting to do for quite a while, but can’t get started on it because it feels too big. perhaps this is actually been the solution staring at me: maybe the project is actually infeasible given my skills. that means the best thing to do is do an easier project. keep building confidence and skills with projects until I can do the more difficult ones

• I don’t even think this is a bandaid solution, since it seems very likely that I could throw all of my energy at this project and still fail because I don’t have the necessary pre-requisites

• preventative care: don’t skip corners. learn everything the “correct” way (with the help of claude). if things feel too difficult compared to peers, it’s probably because you have a poor foundation, slow down and learn the foundation first

  • people might disagree with this. I at times disagree with this, but then it ends up killing me. because of the predispositions of my mind, it seems good to do things that are right at the cusp of my abilities and no more. probably also good to do things that are well within my abilities to build confidence

• I always have had an issue with procrastination, but didn’t always have so many confidence issues. they probably first started to spring up in university? impostor syndrome type stuff

Recurse Center Self-directives

Working at the edge of your abilities means being ambitious about what you can achieve and also honest about your capacity, choosing work that challenges you but isn’t so far beyond your current abilities that it’s discouraging. This is where the most learning and growth happens. Working on something that’s easy for you won’t help you grow, because it won’t teach you anything new. Working on something too hard is also not helpful, because you won’t even be able to get started.

The edge of your abilities is dynamic, and changes over time. If you consistently push yourself to work at this edge, your abilities will expand, and what was once hard for you will become easier. To keep learning, you’ll have to move on to more challenging work. These small gains compound over time, until you’re able to do things that seemed impossible when you started.

The edge of your abilities also changes based on your circumstances each day. Sometimes you’re full of energy, and can push yourself to get a lot done. Other times, you might be tired, or distracted by problems with health, family, or other life challenges. When this happens, your capacity is reduced, and you have to adjust your expectations of yourself. It’s also important to not go too easy on yourself—you have to push to accomplish a lot when you do have the energy for it. If you show up every day and work at the edge of your abilities for that day, you will grow.

Example

Imagine your goal is to write your own operating system in C, but you’ve only used Python and JavaScript in the past. Working at the edge of your abilities might mean starting by writing some command line tools in C. This will push you, because it involves a new language and concepts, but it’s not so far beyond your abilities that you’re unlikely to succeed. Once you’re comfortable with C syntax and manual memory management, you might move on to writing your own operating system.

But do stuff that is still useful and what I want to do

Building your volitional muscles means growing your ability to make decisions about your work and learning based on your own curiosity and joy, rather than external pressures and fears. Your volition, or ability to make decisions and act on them, is something you can grow by exercising it, just like a muscle. This requires reflecting on what you really want, being honest with yourself, and acting accordingly. Sometimes it’s hard to untangle your intrinsic motivations from feelings about what you “should” be doing, but with time and practice, it gets easier. You have to constantly ask yourself what do I really want to do? And then do it.

Building your volitional muscles is valuable not just in programming and learning, but in life. They enable you to discover what you deeply care about, independent of what society, your family, or financial necessity might pressure you to do. They’re a tool you can use to find out what you really want out of life. They expand your idea of what’s possible and what choices are in your power to make.

Example

Building your volitional muscles is about the “why” of your work, not the “what.” Imagine you decide to learn about operating systems because you think all “real programmers” understand low-level programming, so you need to as well. This would not build volitional muscles, because you’re acting out of fear. However, if you’re genuinely curious about the inner workings of the software you use, and you decide that learning about operating systems would be a great way to satisfy that, you’re building volitional muscles. You thought deeply about what you cared about and acted accordingly.

Recurse Center User Manual:

Choose an accountability mechanism and then commit to it.

At RC, you’re primarily accountable to yourself. You’re setting your own goals, working and learning at your own pace, and following your curiosity.

Making your goals and progress public gives you room to reflect on what you’re doing and why, support from your batchmates, and (if it’s written) a record of what you’ve done at the end of the batch. Writing or talking about what you’re working on helps cement it for you, and can help you see possibilities and pitfalls you otherwise wouldn’t. This kind of reflection is at the core of building your volitional muscles.

How? Posting checkins on Zulip, attending daily checkins, coming to office hours on a regular basis, pinging a friend at the end of every day, committing to giving a presentation, blogging, or setting up your own sort of structure.

Create the context you need to do good work.

Our hope is that you’re able to fully immerse yourself in RC during your batch by separating this time from the rest of your life. A big part of this immersion comes from the context you put yourself in.

You might have experienced a state of flow while you worked in the past: you have momentum, you’re super focused, the minutes fly by, and the difficult things aren’t easy but they don’t stop you. The feeling has a lot in common with excitement, and if you can get into it, we think it’s the optimal state to do RC in.

This extends beyond your physical environment. What do you need to tell yourself about what you’re doing — why are you taking the time to do RC? Remind yourself as often as you need to. Are there friends or family members who aren’t sure about you taking three months away from work or other obligations to do RC? Take the time to have those conversations, so you have their support.

If you find yourself struggling to do a certain kind of work, you can also ask yourself what kind of work you are in the mood to do. Maybe you’re trying to force yourself to do a Leetcode problem when what you really want to do is something inspired by an event you went to earlier in the week.

How? If you have experienced flow before, think back to it. What mood were you in? What was the space you were in like? What time of day was it? Try to recreate the situation, and see what happens. If you haven’t, pay attention to and try to adjust your environment, keep programming, and see what you learn.

Do one challenging thing, and then do another.

This is a concrete way to ‘check’ if you’re working at the edge of your abilities. The reason to work at the edge of your abilities is to incrementally grow what you’re capable of at RC. You’ll do that by doing work that’s challenging one day, then waking up the next and doing the same.

How? Ask yourself if what you’re working on is the right level of difficult where you’re learning something new. Challenging doesn’t mean impossible: the edge of your abilities is a sweet spot of difficult but motivating. If you’re pleasantly surprised by the work you’ve done at the end of a week, it’s a good sign.

two

objective is not well defined enough, so I go rahhhhh, I don’t have a clear path to do what I want to do

• solution: break everything down into simple steps. “first I will shower then I will get dressed then I will put my shoes on and pack my stuff then I will walk to grindcore then I will open my laptop then I will ask reddit x question and claude y question and email z person and then I will open cursor and then—“

From The Adult ADHD Tool Kit:

For example, a college student may have reading assignments for multiple classes. He reserves 30 minutes in his schedule to devote to one of the readings, planning to get as far as he can in that time. However, he is still unable to pull himself away from the computer to start the reading despite knowing that it must be done. The first step of behavioral engagement is to stop the task that interferes with the plan, and then take the smallest step toward the target task. For the college student mentioned above, the task becomes “stand up and go pick up the textbook.” The next step is defined as “open to the first page of the chapter.” The third step is, “read the first sentence of the chapter,” at which point the student is reading. Thus, he is no longer procrastinating. He may stop after the first sentence, or after 12 minutes, or he may continue reading for the full 30 minutes (and beyond). Regardless of what happens next, at least the student has an action-based framework for facing procrastination instead of simply trying to “not procrastinate.”

three

I don’t have a clear way to get help if I get stuck. getting stuck feels inevitable, so why should I start

• solution: ask claude immediately. if claude can’t help, ask a real person.

  • make sure I start things early that way there is actually time to ask real people questions. ex. a lot of failure mode in i.e. CIS 1200, if I had just given things an honest effort early, and actually paid attention and yadda yadda, then I could’ve very easily and un-anxiously asked for help

    • in fact I saw this happen positively because 90% of the time I did start early and so didn’t have issues asking for help. it was just the end of semester grind where I started falling behind

  • but don’t let not starting early mean things feel over. this feels pretty tricky. the bandaid is “well just start early”. what happens when I’m in a position where I can’t start early? preventative care is typically the best, but sometimes it’s not available/accessible/don’t have the current mental capacity for it. how do I manage when I’m already behind? figuring out the solution to this seems maybe the most important, since it’s when I most often freak out and anxiously spiral.

  • the hardest thing seems to be actually starting. why is starting so difficult? because the objective of start is very poorly defined—how do I start, what do I do once I start, what does finished look like? just define the objective and check things off the list in a pseduo-gamified way and things will be fine! I think that’s probably true (60% chance). and then 10-minute rule it.

  • also tools like focusmate to make sure I actually start. schedule a meeting without thinking about it

    • doing this right now! just booked something for monday 12/30

From The Adult ADHD Tool Kit:

The 10-Minute Rule

We have condensed several of the coping principles discussed to this point into the specific coping strategy we call the “10-minute rule.” You probably procrastinate because you feel overwhelmed by aspects of a task, the time commitment, or other negative expectations you have. For example, a college student plans to research and write a 10-page essay on a day when he does not have any classes. He plans to start writing at 10 a.m. and to keep writing for however many hours it takes him. It is important to remember that we do not spend that much time on tasks we enjoy, much less a task as difficult as working on a whole research paper, start to finish.

What happens instead is that the student keeps putting off the task because his view of the time involved (e.g., several hours, “all day”) or the task (e.g., the “whole” paper, 10 pages) is too overwhelming. The student “chases the task” all day, putting it off an hour at a time—“I’ll get coffee and then I’ll get started” or “I’ll watch Sports Center and then I’ll be ‘in the mood’ to write,” etc. The student ends up frustrated that he has wasted away a full day and is still facing the fact he must write the entire paper with even less time in which to do so.

Instead, we ask the student, “What is the minimal amount of time you could work on the paper even if it ends up being as difficult and uncomfortable (e.g., distracted, cannot organize thoughts) as you anticipate it might be?” Usually, the answer is somewhere around 10 minutes, hence our nickname for the intervention. The behavioral task is to work on the task for a full and “honest” 10 minutes (600 seconds). The specific step of engagement for the student is defined, such as “sit in front of the computer with the essay file open and attempt to write down some thoughts without editing them.” Implementation plans for handling possible task-interfering distractions can also be outlined.

After spending those 10 minutes on task, the student reassesses the status. If the task is, in fact, overwhelming or the student cannot focus on it, then it is acceptable to stop working on it, guilt-free. The student did not procrastinate but rather made an “informed decision” based on his on-task attempt. Most often, however, after 10 minutes, the student will have overcome the initial aversion to the task and will be able to make some headway on it. The student probably will not finish the entire paper but will likely have a productive writing session, and will be much more satisfied than had no work been done.

four

I am having fun doing x so I don’t want to start doing this boring thing called y

• solution: how much fun am I really having doing x? how do I feel in my body? I probably feel quite anxious. it’s an activity I’m doing purely to avoid the feeling in my body, to avoid feeling present. feelings in my body can’t actually hurt me

• I don’t want to put the whole chart here but happiness rankings (out of 100?)

  • intimacy, making love 14.2

  • theatre, dance, concert 9.29

  • exhibition, museum, library 8.77

  • exercise, sports, runnning 8.12

  • singing, performing 6.95

  • talking, chatting, socializing 6.38

  • meditating 4.95

  • listening to music 3.56

  • watching TV, film 2.55

  • computer games, iphone games 2.39

  • reading 1.47

  • browsing the internet 0.5

  • working, studying -5.43

• in reality, I think utility gotten from browsing the internet or playing a mobile game is rarely better than the worst levels that working, studying is

  • meaning working, studying is rarely ever that bad, browsing the internet is actually rarely fun and is purely monotonous (much more fun to do crazy daydreaming). I only do it to avoid the feelings in my body

  • theatre, concert, intimacy, exercise, chatting are quite fun (I would put going out and doing really spontaneous stuff as usually higher than all of this, or really really good convos ala EAG). sometimes the right working flow is even more fun than any of those. but when it has all of this preconceived badness attached to it, like fear of failure, there’s no more fun

  • you can just get rid of the preconceived nonsense and have fun. you can definitely work through fear of failure over time. 99% certain I could work through this with a little bit of effort and lots of good technique

five

I have nihilistic views about AGI, what’s the point in doing anything

• solution: seems not true if I plan correctly. also on the margin very very few people have impact, important to something something EDT your way into having impact

• additionally, I have strange / rare views, so if I’m right, seems like I’m much more counterfactually valuable than others

six

I just don’t care, or can’t bring myself to care

• solution: you have depression? consider taking zoloft again. take modafinil as prescribed. talk to claude. exercise ~daily (one of my big 2025 goals). commit to meditating ~daily (also one of my big 2025 goals). reread living aligned with your values. reread Shantideva. talk to a loved one or mentor. practice stoicism (seems to actually help the most when I really think through the worst something could get, realize I would be okay even then. but then this doesn’t help me start, it just stops me from feeling so bad about not starting). there are probably better solutions to this that people can help me think of.

  • just saw some tweet the other day but can’t find it now. something something, don’t do anything unless it’s fun. if you find yourself not having fun, maybe that has to do with what you’re doing rather than something wrong you personally?

seven

Other miscellaneous failures like “I need several hours free to devote to it” or “I need to be in the mood to write”. Errors of efficiency, “my time here is going to be spent inefficiently so I might as well save myself for a more efficient time in the future”.

• Solution: I can make progress in an hour working on it. no one “feels like” doing a 10-page paper.

• if a friend of mine (particularly one who was neurodivergent) faced this situation and had this thought, would I hold them to the same standards to which I am holding myself? how would I advise him or her?

From The Adult ADHD Tool Kit:

• Is there another way to think about this situation that will help me to manage it better? What could be the effect of changing my outlook?

• Do I already know what I need to do to manage this situation but do not want to do it? What about this option makes me uncomfortable?

• Can I accept a degree of imperfection or discomfort in order to face this situation? Do things usually end up being as bad as I think they will? How will I feel in 5 minutes if I face this situation rather than avoiding it?

• In the grand scheme of things, how significant is this situation? What is the worst that will happen? Will it seem this important to me in an hour? Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? How do I plan to handle it?

other solutions

preventative care

the most non-procrastinative I’ve ever been in my life was fall 2023 when I had just started school again. why? I was back in school again doing useful things. ~all of my classes felt useful. I felt very aligned with my values, like I was working towards something great. I was doing all of my homework early, as soon as possible upon receiving it. I think doing stuff early was the actual superpower. I felt soooo great. I feel awful when I put things off. again, need to think more about how to come back when I fall off, but I had some good thoughts earlier.

• using a daily planner religiously seems useful. I should call someone for 15 mins everyday to plan, talk through what I did or did not do, be honest about my failures, etc.

From The Adult ADHD Tool Kit:

It is a useful exercise to refresh your reasons and motivations for your coping plans. If and when you notice your coping habits starting to slip, the following questions will help increase the likelihood of keeping a specific plan going:

• What about this task am I thinking that I cannot do?

• Have I been able to do this sort of task before?

• Do I really have to be in the mood to do this?

• Can I handle working on the task for five minutes? How might it feel to make progress?

• What are some positive experiences I might have?

• How will it feel to get started on this task rather than avoiding it?

• How uncomfortable will this task be, really? Can I handle it?

• Is it okay to perform this task if only to “get it off my list”?

As an adjunct to these cognitive strategies for reestablishing commitment, it is useful to remind yourself what you personally value about the task at hand. Answers to the following questions can help you to cultivate and enrich your commitment to the task:

• Why is this task important to me?

• How does this task fit into a larger plan?

• How much have I already done toward my ultimate objective? What is the next step?

• Can I commit to this step of the plan, even if it feels uncomfortable to start?

• How will I feel after I complete the task? Will it seem as difficult then?

• What are the benefits to me of starting this task? What are the drawbacks of procrastination?

• How will I feel knowing that I can face and manage a task such as this?

• Can I at least do something related to this task so I know that I did not avoid it?

taking lessons from other people

I don’t know how else to word this. once, a friend in high school, a drummer, asked another drummer from our school if he could take a lesson from him. they were both roughly equal in skill level, although the guy asking for a lesson was probably better. he learned a lot in just that one lesson. I don’t know if they did this more often.

something something, when I’m having problems, I should just fully and honestly tell someone. they can take the reigns and help me out, give me guidance, a “lesson”. I should not hide what’s going on out of anxiety and embarrassment. I should share, get better. there are plenty of people that I can think of that would gladly help me.

talking to claude is maybe even better, since claude is better than 95% of people at giving advice, and I don’t have to have any anxiety about talking to a person. I wrote this the other day:

i should therapize with claude wayyyy more. like every single day

ok here’s some failure mode I often have:

- confused about something

- embarrassed to ask someone or don’t know how to disentangle this thing deep inside me

- get depression

but no actually, Claude will give me the right answer 98% of the time

just leave the house!!

idk why I forgot to write about this in the first publishing of this. 95% of the time, the issue is just, me not leaving the house. I sit in my room all day and feel miserable. I tell myself I “should” do work, and rot away on some platform or other. the day ends, I get no work done, I feel even worse, cycle continues.

when I make plans to do work with a friend, everything pretty much works. I do work with them, we have a good time, I get into flow, I walk away feeling good. the problem is: friends can be unreliable. you make plans for x day at y time, but last minute the plans fall through. suddenly it’s too last minute to make plans with anyone else to do work. then I spiral and give up.

partial solution: just leave the house and go to the library, coffee shop, etc.

this can work, but at maybe 35% effectiveness. it gets me to get some amount of work done, but I then get distracted or discouraged working alone. the activation energy to get out of the house is significantly more difficult too, because

• there’s no pressure to meet someone at a certain time

• I know I’m going to be less productive alone (see “procrastination via time efficiency excuse”)

• doing work alone is significantly less fun

so then, this just happens less. when I do it, the reward isn’t very encouraging. negative feedback loop.

solution?

• make more friends? 😭

• inform friends that inconsistent meeting times really mess with me, see if things get more consistent

• longterm, figure out how to do work independently

  • I’ll likely be taking some time without school or work when I graduate and I’d like to actually do stuff during that time, even though I’ll likely be back home in Arizona. so that seems pretty important to figure out this year. new year’s goal (I’ll make a prediction about it on Fatebook)

actually, now that I think of it, usually I can work perfectly fine on things that are within my ability or even right on the edge. I’m able to enter a flow, get things done. e.g. since I initially published this, I started building a Quartz markdown digital garden—spent some 8 hours on it and didn’t even notice the time went by. so certainly there are things that feel right when they’re in the right range of my abilities. I guess sometimes schoolwork is too difficult (something something skipping pre-reqs…) and maybe that is a lot of my downfall?

• in e.g. high school, this was sleeping through class everyday. or my Mom signing me out of school so I could spend the day working on a project I was late on whoops, therefore missing class. it was also me not really doing any calculus homework because it was only checked for completion, not correctness, so then I would do poorly on exams.

From Alexey Guzey:

If you’re unproductive right now

Here’s what you should do if you’ve been procrastinating for an entire day:

1. Accept that you won’t do anything today and try not to get angry at yourself

2. Set the alarm for the time you will be preparing to go to bed today

3. No, really. Do it. It will take 20 seconds

4. Procrastinate for the rest of the day

5. When the alarm rings, put your laptop and everything you need for work in your backpack

6. When you wake up, try to not check social media, email or anything else. Do not take anything out of your backpack

7. Get dressed, take your stuff, and go to a library, cafe, whatever else where you either

   • never been to

   • have been to but never procrastinated within the last 6 months

8. While getting to that place, figure out what you want to be doing today

9. Do it

10. Return home in the evening. Don’t take anything (especially your laptop) out of your backpack. Repeat steps 6-10

lock phone in lock box, new e-reader phone, clearspace

again, don’t know how I missed this in first publish. I bought a phone lockbox a while back, somewhat inspired by my roommate Josh, somewhat inspired by a 10 day Vipassana silent meditation retreat I did (I mostly finished writing about this and should publish it soon). if curious, it’s this one. initially, I think I used it like one time. idk why I didn’t use it much more after—some combination of FOMO and forgetting I had it.

recently (October 2024?) I bought a Boox Palma, a wonderful little machine that is part e-ink reader part android phone (but with no cellular capabilities, no way to insert a sim card, so it’s really a tablet). this made it easier to start putting the phone in the lock box more, because then I still have some sort of something to fidget with if I’m out and about (the only issue, which I wish I had known, is that you can’t listen to Spotify when the Palma is in sleep mode. you can listen to Spotify while using other apps, but not when you turn the screen off. so if you want to listen to Spotify and walk, you gotta be prepared for your pocket to press a bunch of things on screen). anyways. initially I was reading a ton on it, but now I’ve died down. it’s because I’ve become more afraid of the lock box again.

the reality is that the lock box is awesome. I feel so great with my phone in the lock box. there are so many more things I can do. even procrastinating on my computer, e.g. scrolling YouTube shorts is about the worst thing you can do for your mental health, much easier to snap out of scrolling on a computer, locking into long-form content.

oh I remembered an issue. the app Clearspace. really great at first, but it’s actually super buggy? can’t get my paid account on phone to show up as paid on my computer. it blocks a bunch of apps in browser which is so awesome. feels like you’re getting your life back. also blocks a bunch of apps on the phone and makes you take a breath before you open them, and sends how many times you’ve opened some app or other to all of your friends you have on the app. pretty cool stuff. I really need to fix Clearspace. that’s going at the top of my TODO list.

procrastination TODO list:

• do the Alexey method tomorrow morning upon waking, go to Coffee Rush

• schedule many Focusmate sessions

• fix Clearspace on phone and computer—email developers if need be

• spend ~30 mins investigating how to fully get rid of my phone (iPhone 13 Pro Max, maybe I just need to get a small iPhone? but that still seems too powerful)

• buy a new planner journal thing. small. portable. keep it physical, not digital. can always update digital later.

• set up daily call with people to plan and talk about day

• schedule a lesson with 3 people

• talk to a doctor about Zoloft

• spend an ~hour writing down exercises from The Adult ADHD Tool Kit (read it 4 years ago, it’s been a long time)

Ok all done. Time to work. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Let me know if you have any advice :)

P.S. I just made a bunch of personal predictions for 2025 through Fatebook. Might make 80% of these public and write about them soon. Idea is courtesy of Arunim.